And then…

I remember one afternoon,  we were talking and suddenly we were kissing.
And after we were kissing, I remember, you said “I love you”, for the first time.
I remember thinking, “He really means it. And I want to love, I want to love him too.”I remember sitting in your room, with your blanket over our legs, and we’re both on our laptops, and the best silence.
I remember lying down with you under your blanket till the late afternoon, neither of us willing to get up and face the world, until we craved sandwiches.
I remember lying down on your chest while I browse iTunes looking for a song, and I remember you cringing whenever I play a Jay Z, and you’ll get so annoyed you’ll just shut my laptop.
I remember us coming home late in the evening after an exhausting day in college, and we took a nap that was so long, we woke up at 10pm, starving.
I remember when I had food poisoning in the middle of the night, I was crying and in so much pain and you looked so helpless… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you have to take care of me.
I remember you waiting in your car right after my paper to rush me to the clinic.
I remember you buying a week’s supply of bread when the doctor told me to only eat bread for a while.
I remember your frown when I insisted on nasi lemak ayam goreng, anyway.
I remember “Why me?” “You’re special” and your smile.
I remember the first time I went to meet your family, I was so nervous I wanted to cry but you kept telling me it’ll be fine.
I remember the first night I slept in your house, and how your dad made you sleep on the sofa and you texted me “Good night”.
I remember your face and your smile at your kind-of surprise farewell party, and how you just didn’t stop smiling.
I remember our last night together, how I fell asleep in your arms at 3am after crying for hours. And I remember how you just held me, you just held me.I remember you kissing my hair at the airport before you leave, and the “I love you” that you whispered in a rush before I had to let you go.And then I don’t remember you anymore.